A few weeks ago I read “Letters to Young Black Women” by Daniel Whyte and I said I was going to share some of my highlights from the book. As a motivational speaker, I am always trying to find good ideas to make me a more relevant speaker and this book is a must read and discuss for women of all ages as well as fathers raising girls and you will see this from my few highlights below. The author speaks primarily to young women in their teens or as young adults about spirituality, education, dealing with men, and purpose but I believe women from various generations will get value from this book especially if you are single. The section below is from letter 22 and 23 which focus on sorry men who are dawgs at their core. This section gives the reader real insight into how men think. (I will be positing another set of highlights of this book in my next post)
Letter Twenty-Two: ON YOUR LIFE — As a Young Black Woman BEWARE OF THE DAWGS
- I want to lovingly warn you to beware of the dawgs. (In case you do not know what a dawg is, a dawg is a man who heartlessly plots to take advantage of women sexually with no intentions on marrying them.
- Consequently, they somehow get a mentality that women are nothing but “B’s” and “W’s” to be conquered, subdued, taken advantage of, and sometimes abused.
- The nature of the dawg, like the devil, is very deceptive. He looks good on the outside, but on the inside he is full of deceit and corruption. The Bible says they will “come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves” (Matthew 7: 15).
- the dawg wants to work on eye contact, for the dawg feels that if he can make good eye contact with you, he is fifty percent toward his goal. Now, mind you, the dawg does not care who you are, or who you are with, be it your boyfriend, husband, or parents. He truly believes in his mind that if he can get some good eye contact with you, he can get you. Sister, don’t let anybody fool you; there is power in the eyes. Whatever you do, DON’T GIVE HIM YOUR EYES IF YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO GET YOU.
- Now when the dawg begins to express some “feelings of love” toward you, don’t be deceived. When he begins to say that he loves you, watch out! The dawg is lying and telling you the truth at the same time. Oh! He loves you alright: He loves the shape of your body, he loves the softness of your skin, he loves the sound of your voice, and he loves the way you smell. Yes, he loves you alright. He loves what you can do for him, and how you can make him feel.
- young women are attracted to masculinity, and oftentimes, the good church boy appears so weak and effeminate [femine] that the good church girl is turned off by that, and associates masculinity with the “bad boyness” of the dawg.
- the love of the forbidden. Unfortunately, because of our sinful nature, we all have an attraction oftentimes to that which is mysterious, dark, evil, and forbidden. The dawg is all of that and more.
- some young women don’t want to be protected from the dawg, and therefore, they do not take heed to the warning signs.
- thousands upon thousands of young black women have been deceived by dawgs, and thus bitten by dawgs. The sad thing about the bite of these dawgs is that the scars seldom go away. Most times, there is a permanent scar that affects her and therefore her relationships for the rest of her life.
- How to Control the Dawgs
- Never give them your eyes.
- Never put yourself in a compromising position with a dawg. Don’t go to the dawg’s house, and don’t let the dawg come over to your house, because the dawg always bites.
- Don’t pet the dawg. (In other words, don’t touch the dawg, and don’t let the dawg touch you.)
- Let your father, your pastor, or an older brother meet the young dawg. I assure you they will be able to discern what he is about in 30 seconds or less. This suggestion alone, if heeded, can save you a lifetime of heartache and pain. (Notice, I did not mention your mother in this list because, sad to say, many mothers can’t pick up on the dawg like a man can.)
Letter Twenty-Three: BEWARE OF THE DAWGS II (Who Let the Dawgs Out?)
- watch out for the Collie dawg because he is a smart dawg. This dawg is a master of psychology. He plans. He plots. He thinks. The Collie plays games with your mind. He is a mind-manipulator.
- “Some women are so easy that some men can talk their panties right off of them.” This is the dawg who can do that. He plays games with you, like taking you out and showing you the time of your life, and then leaves you panting for more. Then you won’t hear from him for a couple of weeks because he is trying to mess with your mind.
- The Chow Chow dawg hooks women because he is so pretty.
- You know the type — light skin, curly “good” hair, fine build. But the women soon found out that he was just another dawg
- The problem with the Chow-Chow dawg is that he may be pretty, but oftentimes, he does not want to take responsibility for his actions. The pretty dawg wants you to take care of him instead of him taking care of you.
- The Great Dane Dawg: Be careful and watch out for the Great Dane dawg. He likes to hook unsuspecting women through his sexual prowess. He’s the kind that brags about his abilities. This causes some women to be curious like Eve was, and like a dumb fish, they get hooked, and this dawg reels them in, and devours them.
- The Poodle: Watch out for the Poodle
- Now this is a dangerous dawg because he’s got some sugar in his tank.
- He prides himself on having a male side and a female side. He goes both ways. He hooks women by being able to relate to them. He knows how to get close to you like one of your girlfriends. This is how so many women get fooled, and sadly… this dawg can be on the “down-low,” therefore making him a “low-down” dawg. Watch out, I tell you!
- Seeing Eye Dawg/The church dawg
- He can be saved or lost (yes, there are some “saved” brothers who walk in the dawg from time to time).
- Women trust him because he is in the church, and that is how he gets over on them. This dawg is very sneaky, so keep your eyes open.
- The Rottweiler Dawg: Now the Rottweiler dawg likes to fight. If things don’t go the way he wants them to go, he wants to fight you. He just can’t get angry, say a few words, and walk away. He’s got to give you a black eye, and send you to the hospital. Strangely enough, though, he gets his share of women. I strongly urge you to stay away from this dawg because this dawg is not only known to bite; he’s known to kill as well.
- the Pit Bull
- Now the Pit Bull dawg is crazy. He may be built fine, but this is a crazy dawg. He’s schizophrenic. This dawg may be nice one day, and then mean as the devil the next. He hooks women by his unpredictability and craziness. Some women are attracted to him because they see him as exciting, thrilling, and a man that offers them a big challenge to tame him. Don’t get sucked in by this crazy dawg.
- the Hound Dawg: Do you remember the song “You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog,” by Elvis Presley? Well, that is what you have here. The Hound dawg is a lazy dawg. He expects you to take care of him. Normally, he can’t keep a job, and he doesn’t pay what few bills he does have on time. He never has any money to give to you, but he always has his hand out behind his back for some money from you. If you are not careful, the Hound dawg will have you taking care of him. Let a sleeping dawg lie.
- young women, there are many other dawgs out there, so watch carefully. I do not have the time or space to tell you about each of them specifically. I wish I did. However, if it walks like a dawg, if it smells like a dawg, and if it looks like a dawg, IT IS A DAWG. RUN! Beware of the Dawgs!
If you like the highlights purchase the book for yourself and tell other women especially young women and parents raising girls.